Postcards & Passports

Five Ways to Gain Weight on Vacation

Five Ways Gain Weight

This is the lowdown. You’ll find everything you need here. Just follow these five simple rules for guaranteed weight gain while on vacation!

1. Don’t get enough sleep

Be sure to book early flights or tours. Then set your alarm for a much earlier time than you need after staying up all night packing. When you reserve your hotel rooms, ask for rooms near the elevator so that you can be sure to be woken up several times during the night. It might also help to choose uncomfortable beds and less-than-ideal sleeping arrangements for your children so that they don’t sleep well, either. If you have an overnight layover at an airport, don’t book a hotel, but rather, plan to sleep on the airport benches. Not getting enough sleep will make it so much easier to gain weight. But that’s just the beginning. The more you lose sleep, the more you will increase stress as well (see #5).

Five Ways Gain Weight

photo by Unsplash

2. Stop exercising

Some people walk or bicycle everywhere they go, especially in Europe. Crazy, right?! That will definitely negate your efforts. Plan to take a taxi or rent a car as much as possible. Use automated walkways in the airport and escalators instead of stairs. Be sure to book bus tours over walking tours, or better yet, just lay out on the beach without swimming. Forget your regular exercise routine. You’ll be too tired anyway, if you’re following rule #1.

Five Ways Gain Weight

Sitting idly, photo by Apolinarski

3. Eat badly!

The best start to lousy eating is to completely skip breakfast.  Go without eating long enough that you end up bingeing on whatever you can find at the train station or souvenir shop, because you’re famished. When you dine out, eat quickly and rush off to the next thing on your agenda. Definitely do not take the time to savor new tastes and flavors. Don’t waste your time preparing your own meals — they might be too healthy. Eat meals late into the night and go to bed with a full stomach (another way to keep you from getting enough sleep).

Five Ways Gain Weight

Donuts! photo by Unsplash

4. Don’t drink enough water

One of the best ways to really mess up your metabolism is to get dehydrated. Don’t carry a water bottle with you and buy only sodas to drink. Wait until you actually feel thirsty before drinking because that means you are already dehydrated, and that will also make you very tired (see #1). Not drinking enough water keeps your digestive system from functioning well, so there you have it — another way to insure you’ll gain weight.

Five Ways Gain Weight

Dry as a desert, photo by Marion

5. Increase your stress level

This is especially easy to do on a vacation. Wait till the last minute to apply for your passport or make reservations. Schedule transportation with short layovers and multiple plane changes. Plan your itinerary with so many things to do that you never have time to relax or just enjoy the moment. Forget to confirm reservations and panic when things go wrong and then continue to worry about all trip details. When you have chronic stress, your body will step up its production of cortisol and insulin and increase your appetite (back to #3). And don’t read these tips on how to plan a trip.

Five Ways Gain Weight

Choose Stress for Optimum Weight Gain, photo by Gerd Altmann

 

Related post you might enjoy:

Ten Reasons Why You Should Wake Up Early (on Vacation!)

 

 

 

16 thoughts on “Five Ways to Gain Weight on Vacation

  1. Heather

    Haha. I had to laugh when I read #2–it was as if you had been quoting my last vacation to San Diego…”better yet, just lay out on the beach without swimming”. 🙂

  2. Darren

    I really messed up on our Italy trip last year by going for a long run while keeping well hydrated & enjoying great views of the Mediterranean Sea 😉 (exercise, hydration & de-stressing). Guess I’ll have to go back and do it right!

  3. Mags

    haha! I’m afraid I’m guilty of all of these. I usually like being active when I travel, but certainly end up eating way too much and laying on the beach sometimes!

  4. Erin Toews

    Hello! I found your site by searching “Postcards and Passports” to see if the domain name was taken. Haha! Despite my initial disappointment, I was pleased to read some articles and gain inspiration. Currently I am in Zimbabwe for a year— I have only been here for one month so far — and I am going through some culture shock & don’t feel like doing anything but sit on the computer & read travel articles. SOOOO I haven’t been exercising or drinking water or eating healthy. I’m following your guidelines to a T!

    http://www.toewsadventure.com/

    1. Tami Post author

      Erin, we must think alike! Sorry about the domain name. But I’m sure you’ll come up with something great that hasn’t been taken. Zimbabwe! What an adventure–I’m sure you’ll have lots to write about.

  5. Kaila (The Wanderlust Celiac)

    Sleep is the one spot where I tend to mess up on vacation! I am so excited that I don’t realize I’m not sleeping enough. I find that when I first started traveling it was easy to stress out, but now I’ve learned to take my vacation to relax and take things as they come because that’s one thing I value about my vacation time. 🙂

  6. Evelyne CulturEatz

    OMG this is so hilarious, love your sense of humor. that said, 1 and 3 are tough for me. I can have chronic insomnia so I already have trouble sleeping in my own bed, a different one can be hard. And screw diets when on vacation. But I do walk all day and drink water like a fish, and I am a super organized traveler with lots of research done ahead.

    1. Tami Post author

      Good for you for walking all day — that’s what I do, too! Probably should drink more water, too, but there’s no way I’m dieting and missing out on all the great new foods to try!

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